Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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