The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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