He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
