Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
