I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
