Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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