On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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