The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
