yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
