I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
