i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
