I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
