My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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