did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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