Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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