Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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