I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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