Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
