Whatcha textin bout Willis?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
