my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
