508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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