i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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