woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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