Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
