come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
