I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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