just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
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