KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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