So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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