I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I had to cum in my sink.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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