Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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