Kiss
Puke
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
