ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
