are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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