im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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