The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
