is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
