Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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