i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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