People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
