thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I believe in your delicious
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
