she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
