in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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