I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
