So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
