and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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