I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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