Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
4 words: hood of his car
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
