whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
