This is not my ceiling
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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