Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
