They should really pass out barf bags in church
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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