weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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