how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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